This week was the second week of my 10 week boys youth group. We are working on building a foundation for a healthy emotional future for these boys. There are a lot of dynamics at play in the group environment. I love every minute of it but it’s not without it’s natural challenges.
Our normal group of 5 was down to 4 this week as one boy was absent. I do hope he continues as he is an 11 year old with many challenges in his young life. I will continue to hope he comes back and if he doesn’t, I am glad for the one week we spent together. As for the other 4 one would think that this is a breeze…only 4 boys and 2 adults! However, as we suspected there is one boy who is an attention seeker and dominates the group – even over us facilitators. I am continuing to think about the group dynamic and the purpose of why I am doing this.
Do I intervene and halt the disruptions and silliness? Or do I step back and allow the group dynamics to kick in and see where it takes us?
There is a fine line for me as facilitator to allow the group to manage itself. I am considering this due to the age of the boys. For example “Johnny” tells “Matty” to SHUT UP ! This is the peer dynamic at play trying to work itself out. Matty may be more inclined to listen to Johnny rather than me as an adult. Although this communication did not work this week I have faith it will in the future. After all, the very thing I want for these kids to do on their own away from group is to take charge and not to be afraid of their emotions. If I intervene too quickly and say “Now Johnny let’s not use the words “SHUT UP”, it’s better to say “Be Quiet” then I am disrupting the flow of the group. I think I will sit back and watch how this one plays out over the next several weeks. I am not teaching manners as a foundation for life. It is not that I don’t think manners are important it’s just that I choose to let these kids be kids and try and work things out amongst themselves.
However, I am very aware there likely may be some conflict if we do not get the dynamic I am speaking of here under a little more control. I see the disruptions as a possible trigger for Johnny as I also see some slight agitation in him from Matty’s constant disruptions. I am also conscious of the information Mom has provided to me so these are important things for me to keep in mind in moving forward. As for the other two boys well they just get caught up in all the silliness that 9 and 10 year olds do. I have to catch myself from not laughing as they are really cute and I don’t want this group to be all serious and rigid.
We’ll see what next week brings. We are to talk about Bullying and I may need to change our topic and have a heart to heart about what is going on in our group and initiate some discussions around this. What a great learning opportunity for them to share how they feel.
#BoysNeedToFeel
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