Title: By: Julie Clarke, BCYC, CYC (Cert.)
I think most parents would agree that travelling with children or youth, can be serious business! Your trip could be a day trip or extended family vacation; there is always potential for sadness, fatigue, anxiousness and general stress. These feelings can be felt by child or adult! Thinking of things like how much will it cost? Are special nutrition or accommodations needs; how will these be met en route? Will my toddler miss her afternoon nap? Will we get lost? The decision to travel is the adult's decision usually not the child therefore in this context let us take a moment to think about how to make this dynamic work; it can work.
Families can overcome some of the stresses of travelling. As we move towards the summer season where new adventures are likely it is important to keep plans realistic. For example, if there is extended travelling in a vehicle plan to go for a walk the next day and find a neighbourhood park; there is nothing like discovering a new play structure! Even a pond to throw rocks in, this is one of the most fun things for a toddler to do! If there is an event that requires your attendance and this is the reason for your journey ensure there are periods of down time. More importantly do not rush the children, ensure the down time is genuine and simple; usually the activities that cost nothing are the best ones! Limit distractions such as cell phones or even personal worries about what is to come. Take the time to enjoy the day for what it is; force yourself to see if through their eyes. The goal is for the child or youth to add one more memory to their memory bank; bonding experiences that can help enhance self-confidence and self-esteem. These moments create memories of love and reassurance not aggravation and frustration.
Our role as parents is to guide our children, to walk alongside them on their life journey. Travelling has the potential to push kids abruptly through tight deadlines and knock schedules off kilter; a sure recipe for disaster and unhappiness for everyone! So my advice is to stop playing seriously, stop planning every intricate detail of your get-a-way. We all do this! We think things like 'we have to go do this because we have come all this way' or 'we can play on a play structure at home, we did not come all this way to play on a play structure'. Travelling cannot be about rushing here and getting there; traveling must be more about the experience in general and what you as the adult in your child's life can offer on this excursion. There are many opportunities to learn new things. Here are some fine words to lead you towards your vacation planning and to help you establish your priorities:
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
— Diane Loomans
May your vacation dreams come true!
@boysneedtofeel
