Talk about a male bonding coming of age story. My 12 year old son* slept in a
shack.
In November.
We live in Canada.
I say to him "But it's November" he says to me, "Mom we're
Canadian"!
An old debilitated shack was acquired from a nearby cemetery. This notion and any superstitions one may have of what a shack, residing for years in a place where dead bodies lay, could be a part of my reluctance to go along with this winter overnight excursion. I'm a mom, my mind is running through all the harmful possibilities, even irrational ones like the dead zombie bodies will get them (I am totally kidding…although I guess it did cross my mind because I am writing it here!).
My concerns about harmful possibilities are quickly trumped by the enthusiasm in which these two young men desire to spend a night in their beloved shack.
I realize I must find a way to support their wishes because again, this is not about me! It is about helping my son create lasting childhood memories, stories that he can tell others for years to come, experiences he can learn from (like the top bunk wasn't that comfortable after all)! And of course it is November in Canada and they won't last the night I tell myself.
The shack itself needed some renovating. When the shack arrived in September the boys promptly began to tear off old shingles, re-build walls and the floor as well as build a bunk area. The shack even had to be lifted in order to fix the floor. They renovated for a couple of months each day after school. They would make trips to the local hardware stores picking up supplies whenever they could hitch a ride with a family member and in between adult schedules. This got frustrating for them at times because they were not able to complete their project when they wanted to and had to rely on others. During these times there are many opportunities for me to provide some teaching around patience and respect for others! They hammered away for weeks, even with their age old hammers! The boys always had a goal of sleeping in the shack but I continued to secretly tell myself it won't happen, the weather is getting too cold and I won't have to worry. I had the weather on my side I thought.
Apparently this was not the case, cold weather or not the boys were determined to sleep in their shack. When the day finally came and the shack was renovated enough to be safe and secure for a sleepover I had a pit in my stomach; I thought I had at least put this possibility off until the spring time! It is funny how that works, when my agenda does not jive with that of my son. We must always be reminded to be open minded.
The two boys, their enthusiasm, planning skills and hard work renovating did not go unnoticed.Their teacher was curious about their project too as the boys were so preoccupied with their shack plans that she saw little else being done at school! Thankfully the teacher recognized the shack renovation project was not just a big part of the boys lives but that there was tremendous skill being displayed by both of them. The planning, acquiring of materials and general labour skills are life lessons that cannot be taught in the classroom. We have happily provided her with photos of the shack!
So here we are. It's the night of the big sleepover and we are packing to sleep in the shack. I feel like I am having an out of body experience as I arrive at our destination and gather the belongings to head over to the shack. It is pitch black outside and it is a cold night. I am delivering what I am told to deliver: one small cot mattress, one sleeping bag, an extra blanket and one pillow (what no stuffed animal?!). I am still naturally worried but trying not to show it on my face as I vow to stand in support of this adventure! As I am unloading our vehicle the friend's father says to me "Well here we are" and I say "What have we got ourselves into?!". We both carried onwards delivering the sleeping goods continuing to comment to ourselves about the fact "they won't last" and "they'll be in the house in an hour". Yeap, that is what kept me going they'll head into the house and won't get eaten by wolves (oh did I forget to mention that this had crossed my mind as well…the documentary I watched recently on wolves attacking a family in Algonquin Park certainly did not help my cause here!).
As I am heading home I congratulate myself for letting go and going against my protective instinct. This excursion is so not about me it's about my son. To have held him back from this experience would have been detrimental to his sense of self and well-being. There were no wolves out to get him, there were no dead zombie bodies going to haunt them in their dreams and they were mature enough to realize if they had to retrieve to the warm house. I had to honour their wishes and desires to sleep in their beloved, newly renovated shack...
...I lasted until 2:00am! (Are your overprotective vibes a' vibrating?!?!)
I slept fine but when I woke up at this point I texted my son (yes I gave him my cell phone!). I was absolutely positive they would be sleeping soundly in the warm house.
They weren't!
They were still in the shack!
I burst into laughter and thought well they are showing us aren't they! They taped a paranormal activity'ish video and sent it to me as proof. It was not only hilarious it proved to me that even in the dark dead cold of night these two boys with their huge smiles and hysterical laughter were doing what they needed to do. They were loving every minute of the experience! I was 100% certain at this point that allowing and supporting thier shack adventure despite my safety concerns and the cold was the right thing to do. They were having the time of their lives and I will cherish that video forever.
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| Inside of a shack! |
*A simple blog story about a very normal and realistic situation for parents based on fictional characters.
@BoysNeedtoFeel
Credits
http://i.huffpost.com/gen/876860/thumbs/r-CANADA-WINTER-FORECAST-huge.jpg
